she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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