You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
