I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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