I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
