I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
