Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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