All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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