my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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