yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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