no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
