I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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