Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
