I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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