atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
