I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
