she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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