How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
