my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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