I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
