Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
