im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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