We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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