Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
