This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
