you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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