I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
