You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
