It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
