erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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