I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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