Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
