there's paper in my vomit.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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