i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
