just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
