i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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