Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
