I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
