I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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