She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize