I can tuck mytits in my pants
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize