Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
