i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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