I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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