The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
