i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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