oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
