Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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