You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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