Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize