Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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