absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Come on in and take your pants off
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