Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i need some magic done to my vagina
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
