Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize