woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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