I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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