Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
