The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
