last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
