one two three fourrrrnication!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
