yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
