Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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