I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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