You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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