2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
