that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
