Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
do nipples grow back?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
