She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
