do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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