i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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