Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Randomize
