The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
