good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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