Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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