HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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