she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
