very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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