Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
