dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
