is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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